Going Dutch
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Going Dutch is a slang term indicating that each person participating in a shared activity pays for himself or herself, rather than any one person paying for anyone else. It is also called Dutch date and Dutch Treat.
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[edit] Etiquette
There is a delicate etiquette surrounding going Dutch. It is accepted in some situations, such as between non-intimate friends or less affluent people, but can be considered stingy in other circumstances, such as on a romantic date or at a business lunch.
The traditional way to handle a bill on a date in the West has been that the one who invited the other takes the bill and the invitee may not even know the actual price of the meal[citation needed]. An alternative view is that traditionally payment has always been made by the male. Full payment by the male is still most common[1] but is no longer certain.
[edit] Etymology
The phrase "going Dutch" probably originates from Dutch etiquette. In the Netherlands, it is not unusual to pay separately when going out as a group. When dating in a 1 on 1 situation however, the man will most commonly pay for meals and drinks. English rivalry with The Netherlands especially during the period of the Anglo-Dutch Wars gave rise to several phrases including Dutch that promote certain negative stereotypes. Examples include Dutch courage, Dutch oven, Dutch uncle and Dutch wife. The particular stereotype associated with this usage is the idea of Dutch people as ungenerous and selfish.
In some parts of Italy (especially the southern part), the expression pagare alla romana can be translated as: "To pay like people of Rome" or "to pay like they do in Rome". It has the same meaning as "going Dutch". This can lead to misunderstanding, because in other parts of Italy pagare alla romana means to divide equally the total cost between all the commensals.
The corresponding phrase in Turkish is hesabı Alman usulü ödemek, which can be translated into English as "to pay the bill the German way". Alman usûlü = German style
Some South American countries use the Spanish phrase pagar a la americana (literally "to pay American style") which refers to a trait attributed to people from the U.S.A. or Canada.
In Egypt, it is called Englizy, which translates into "English style".
In Argentina specifically, 'a la romana' (exact translation of Italian's 'pagare alla romana') is widely used and 'pagar a la americana' (pay American style) doesn't exist.[citation needed]
In Guatemala the phrase is "a la ley de Cristo... cada quien con su pisto" which is used more as a rhyme with the word "Cristo" and "pisto" - rather than having a religious connotation.
In El Salvador the rhyming phrase 'Ley de Esparta... Cada quien paga lo que se harta', which means 'Spartan Law, each pays what he/she eats'.
In India, the practice is called as TTMM - Tera Tu Mera Main in Hindi (or Tujhe Tu Majhe Mi in Marathi) meaning 'You pay yours and I pay mine'. In Pakistan, similarly, Apna Apna is used to mean 'Each his own'.
In Thailand, the practice is referred to as "American Share".
In the Philippines, it is referred to as KKB, an acronym for "Kanya-Kanyang Bayad" which can be translated in English as "Pay for your own self".
In Mandarin Chinese, the appropriate term is "AA制 (AA zhì)，" where zhì is the Chinese word for "system". Explanations vary: "AA" could stand for "Algebraic Average" or "Acting Appointment".
The gambling term dutching may follow this same route as it describes a system that shares stakes across a number of bets. It is commonly believed, however, that the Dutch reference here was in fact derived from a gangster (Dutch Schultz) who used this strategy to profit from racing.
[edit] Feminist support for Dutch date practice
During the advent of second wave feminism, the late 1960s and 1970s, the women's movement encouraged women to understand aspects of their own personal lives as deeply politicized. Many feminists investigated the framework and assumptions of traditional courtship roles. They subscribed to the idea that there should be equality of the sexes, not just legally, but socially and sexually.
They held that it was mature, empowering and self-respecting for women to pay their own way in romantic dates. They were rejecting traditional gender role assumptions that men should make more money and should pay for affections through dinners and other date costs. In this way, women were making an equal investment in the cost of courtship.
It became more common for women to pay their own way or to pay for men's meals.
[edit] International practices
In Sweden and Norway , the practice of splitting the bill in restaurants is common. In a courtship situation where both parts have a similar financial standing, which is commonplace in Sweden, the traditional custom of the man always paying in restaurants has largely fallen out of use and is by many, including etiquette authorities[who?], considered old fashioned. Generally a romantic couple will take turns paying the bill or split it. It is generally assumed that everyone pays for himself or herself in restaurants unless the invitation stated otherwise.
In most of northern and central Europe the practice of splitting the bill is common. On a dinner date, the man may pay the bill as way of overtly stating that he views this as a romantic situation and that he has some hopes or expectations for a future development. Some women object to this or even find it offensive (per Feminist support for Dutch date practice above) so it is a judgment call. Younger urban women especially tend not to accept men paying for them; or will in turn insist to pay for the next dinner or drink.
In south European Countries such as Italy,Portugal, Greece or Turkey it is rather uncommon for locals to have separate bills, sometimes even regarded rude, especially when in larger groups. But in urban areas or places frequented by tourists this has changed over the last decades.
In Middle Eastern cultures, going dutch is judged to be extremely rude. Traditions of hospitality play a great part in who pays, therefore an invitation will be given only when the host feels he/she is able to afford the expenses of all. Similarly, gender roles and age play a more important role than they would in Western societies.
In Korea where rigid social systems are still in place, it is most common for the person of the highest social standing, such as a boss or an elder figure, to pay for the bill. This not only applies in a 1 to 1 situation but also in groups. Among the younger generation, it is quite common for friends to alternate when paying for the bill, or for one to pay for dinner and another pays for drinks.
